Sunday, May 30, 2010

Approaching 100.

When I stepped on the scale this week, I realized that I am slowly approaching the 100 lbs mark. I am five lbs away from it. The anxiety filled and anxious side of me says "WOOOHOOO its coming!" The glass is half empty side of me says "well so what? you are still over 200 lbs!" The glass is half full says "but nearly six months into this diet, you have DONE it. You kept a New Years resolution!! You dropped from a snug size 32 all the way down to a loose 22, and THAT is something to be proud of!" So I guess, yea at this point I can say that.

I am still drinking water like a champion, I am still eating the right things, weighing things and counting things. I have not been as diligent at working out but even that is getting back on track. I have faced depression in the face, and while it has tackled me sometimes other days I just laugh in its face. You see, I am a emotionally fueled eater, if my emotions are in the toilet I eat like there is no tomorrow. I eat like I am starving to death, and I seriously can not help myself. The worst I have done since my ex husband has lost his job was attack some M&M's like fat good at a buffet. (ok it was like 30 of them.. but I know it could have been so much worse).

So as I approach this giant milestone, what do I do? At 50 lbs my husband bought me an ipod and I started to walk more. At 100 lbs, I plan to walk my first 5K, I plan to keep up with my eating changes, and I plan to keep on keeping on. I have finally figured out that I like getting up in the morning without feeling lethargic and sick because my high blood pressure pumped so hard all night. I like that I can walk through the grocery store without needing to sit down. I like that today I DOVE into the pool and got nearly half way across the deep end before I had to come up for air. Last year as soon as I dove I had to resurface, last year I honestly wondered how many lbs the life guard could lift if push came to shove.

Yup time's are changing, and I think i can finally say for the better.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Avoiding the arms of Mr Hershey...

Throughout my life, whenever things get stressful I would head to the cabinets to make it all better. The last time I was on this diet adventure, I found out my ex husband had an affair and sat down and ate an entire bag of Honey Mustard pretzels (a family size bag). I get stressed out and you can hear "May day! May day!!" As I am going out of control and losing it fast. My problem is not that I love food, my problem is that at the first sign of stress or worry I eat, and I eat like there is no tomorrow. My ex is unemployed (again) and with this latest trip to the unemployment line comes more stress (ugh!) .. and that's not all...

My husband has been doing this journey with me, but for all basic purposes he has hit his goal weight and he is done. He seems to have lately stopped measuring stuff at meals, eating regularly but still cautiously but he forgets sometimes that I am SO far from my goal and need the measuring. Without it, I am out of control. And while I do know that he is not responsible for weighing and measuring what I eat, his support before was awesome.

I have a bunch of stress in my life right now, thanks to that stress I open the cabinets and see my good choice snacks right next to the bad choices. While I know that grabbing the bad ones is wrong and stupid, there are moments when I am weak and I just want a moment to forget the issues. But I am opening up a whole new can of worms. I have felt myself getting lazier when it comes to working out. I am in a rut and I need some help, I need to pull myself back out of this and fast!

Suggestions are open and appreciated

Monday, May 10, 2010

Survival of the fittest

I am not fit. Let's face it, I am still pudgy and jiggly. But I am working on it, and that is still something I am proud of. That being said, have you ever been out walking and seen the really teeny tiny girls out running or exercising? And while you are out there with them, its hard to not watch them and think "oh yea I can do this" But then as they run away you notice there is no jiggle in their step. Damn.

I mean I hope when they strip at night they at least have cellulite or stretch marks. Because I am out here busting my tail......and I have stretch marks and my cellulite has cellulite. But get this part straight I am OUT there. And it makes me wonder if as I walk my extra few steps are these same ladies thinking "Well check her out" Let's hope so shall we? And if you are one of those skinny girls and are reading this... can you guys at least do us chunky girls a favor and find something to jiggle.. .that's all we ask.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A bucket list- the diet version

A very dear and wonderful friend of mine, (yes Susan I mean you) suggested this blog to me. And I could not help but decide that this week as things are well eh is a good time for this list. If you are unfamiliar with what a Bucket list is, I will explain. A bucket list is the things you want to do before you kick the bucket. For me, this list is more going to be a yearly bucket

To be completed by January 1, 2011...

1) I will walk a 5K (running is ambitious, walking is realistic)
2) I will lost 100 lbs (I am at 81 lbs if I don't lose 19 in the next 7 months I will be unhappy!)
3) I will buy something in a size XL not 2X or 3X
4) I will try new vegetables and not proclaim them yucky before I do.
5) I will push my comfort zone
6) I will work my way through the hungry girl cookbooks
7) I will NOT keep clothes that do not fit, I will pass them on.
8) I will put on a pair of shoes that can qualify as "hot"
9) Ok I will wear said shoes too.
10) I will continue on this path, avoiding the one of self destruction I was on
11) I will write thank you letters to those who have helped me along my way.

the fact is most of this list is easy, but others are not so easy. I am afraid to leave my comfort zone. I have long been convinced that the world is laughing at me, mostly because of my size. I am proud of what I have accomplished and determined to keep on chugging! Thanks to those who have been there, I appreciate you more than you will ever know!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Funny Friday :o)~

I need a laugh and some of these helped:

Ok I may have a warped sense of humor, but I hope someone besides me smiled from these. Have a great Friday. :o)~

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rationalizig the irrational.

I can admit (finally) that I am overweight because of years of body abuse. There truly is no other way to say it. Nobody forced me to eat the junk food, I did it because well quite honestly it tasted good and I liked it. The fact is, given the choice, most people will reach for the cupcake as opposed to reaching out for the granola. The fact is, we are what we eat and for a long time I was sugar and crap. (maybe thats what made me so sweet).

I used to wake up and start eating, my choices were never healthy. I was a junkfood and soda aholic, in the worst sense of the word. I used to drink 90+ ounces of Dr Pepper a day, I never drank water except when I had to. Now, I have not had a Dr Pepper since January 3rd, not even a sip! Ok that is a lie. I have had Diet Dr Pepper, because well its 0 calories and I can. But otherwise I drink water and iced tea (No not omg sweet tea.. iced tea)

I think of every meal item, every menu and every thing that will go in or near my mouth each day. Why? because if I don't I will eat everything. Today for instance breakfast consisted of frosted mini wheats, 1/2 cup of 2% milk. Lunch was Potatoes (leftover from dinner last night... baked 1 cup), with 1 TBSP of hummus mixed in (5 points). I will be eating a cup of grapefruit (2 pts) in a few minutes but as of right now I am good. I am not starving... I am not wishing for more food. I am content. Previously, this would not have happened. Previously, I would have been convinced I was starving and eat more. Not necessarily out of hunger but out of boredom. I eat when I am bored, if I keep busy.. I don't eat. Emily and I went outside a bit ago and walked around the block, not a long walk but it is 75 degrees and gorgeous, she sat and I pushed my little diva (complete with Shades).

These changes have saved my life, I my live to see my grandchildren. In January, that was severely something I questioned. I have lost 81 lbs, and while I still have at LEAST another 80 to go, I believe I can do it . I no longer rationalize that food is my friend, I know we can be friends we just have to do it on my terms.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mother may I....

Surely growing up, everyone at one point or another played Mother may I. I have learned recently that dieting is nothing more than a game of Mother may I. For those of you (Who grew up under a rock or in a sheltered life) who are unfamiliar with Mother may I these are the rules "one person is the Mother" She gives suggestions such as "Mother says take two steps forward" to which you reply "mother may I?" And the answer "yes you may" if you fail to ask you have to go backwards.

In my world Weight Watchers has become Mother and I am pleading for steps forward. A typical day in our house:

"Mother, may I please eat hummus and melba toast for two points?"

"yes you may" Two steps forward.

"Can I have the Mr Goodbar that is taunting me in the cabinet"

"No you may not" One step backwards.

"Mother, may I please have 1/4 cup of chocolate chips for 1 point"

"Yes you may" Two steps forward.

"Can I skip the water and drink something else"

"Heavens no.. " one step backwards

"Mother may I workout on the Wii?"

"Yes you may!!" Two steps forward

May I curse at the trainer?

"No you may not" one step backward (Stupid discipline!)

And while I can make jokes about this, the fact of it is.. this time I have seen more steps forward. I hope that continues and I hope that I can continue to keep my feet going. I just have to remember to ask Mother if I may.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Life is funny no? We spend all our time going through our life in the "time to make the doughnuts" fashion. We get up, we move through the day, and we go to bed. Life for the most part has the same few notions, we just work our way through the day. Seldom do we remember to take some me time, because let's face it.. who has time?

So in the past few months, I have regained my life. I am not talking about my metephorical life, instead I am speaking of years on my life. When I started this I was on Blood pressure meds in December my blood pressure at one point was 191/105. I am only 38 years old. That is crazy in major ways! By losing this weight I have gained years back on my life. I ran up stairs last night. I have not run in so long I was shocked I did it.

Liberty because I have the ability to do things that were impossible before, I can catch up with my 2 year old. in December that was not a possibility, such a BIG difference in my world. I am liberated and able to do things that a few months ago were not possible. This matters to me!

Pursuit of happiness, obvious. Iam happier. Iam not struggling to move, my body no longer hurts. This is a difference and obviously a happy one. Thank Goodness we are heading to this point. Thank Goodness after so long, I can say that I smile and mean it :o)~

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

That dreaded 5K

So, if you have been following me, and not just because I have given two great giveaways (btw will the people with the 1000 calorie boxes please email me or I will have to give your prizes to someone else.. thanks!) I have been fighting this dreaded 5K. I want to do one, I know I am fully capable of doing one, but at the same point there are a few things holding me back:

1) Money. Most of them require you pay an enterance fee, right now that is not possible for me to do. While I can justify that it is for a good cause, the bottom line is I don't have the extra to spare.

2) I am afraid of failing in front of thousands of people. What happens if I make the effort and I fail? What would that do for my esteem? I know I know it makes no sense. But no matter how much weight I lose I will always be that fat person trying to get out. The fact is, while I am brave on the exterior I am a chicken on the inside.

3) Time. See, Chuck has drill, the kids have activities.. and everytime one pops up.. ok who are we kidding this is another excuse.

So, I got to thinking (did you all see the smoke? I know you did) that maybe instead of walking one that is set, what is wrong with me walking one with some friends? Maybe try and get some friends together and walk a 5K, no rush no hurry just some friends supporting each other in a walk. It is truly not a matter of knowing whether or not I can do it, its finding the inspiration to get it done.

I will be 39 on June 7, and I have never done anything that will require something so physical from myself (I used to use the Asthma card in PE to get out of the 600, how is that for honest?). I am not against doing this, I just need some help. Is there anyone who wants to help me take this journey? Walk a 5K with me, and if and ONLY if someone wants to donate to a jar we will give the money to CHERUBS - The Association of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Research Awarenes. This is the horrible disease that took my son Matthew and maybe with some inspiration I can say part of me is doing this walk for him in what would have been his 20th year.

Once one, two or three people say they want to join me, we will pick a date and get going. So, anyone wanna help a girl out?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mountains 21-30

It seems to me like these mountains are getting bigger. I have not conquered all of them or anywhere close to them. But I do have a few more so let's see what I can answer:

Mountain 21- Participate in a blog or group about weight loss, hope to help someone out. Ok I think thats a double check i have this and I have a FB group now. Go me.

Mountain 22- Make more meals at home then out of the house--huge check off. We eat nearly every meal at home and the best part is I know the cooks and I know what is going inside the meal. This is working up and down the mountain.

Mountain 23- Create a menu for meals at home, not just for me but for the family, stick to them. We have been doing this since January and it has worked for us. We found out a few things 1) I love my stove 2) the kids seem to prefer homemade over store bought.. who knew??

Mountain 24- Wear my bathing to the beach and not cringe thinking someone behind me is making whale noises. So mastered that mountain. Three times now!!

Mountain 25- help a friend start their weight loss journey. I have done this mountain, I have friends who ask "What are you doing? how are you doing it?" and I have asnwered. its been great too!!

Mountain 26- working out even when I didnt feel the desire. This is a huge mountain for me. moving and I are not friends, so getting up and just doing it (I feel like the nike symbol) is huge for me. Mountain is now a hill.

Mountain 27-Changing my attitude, this one is a work in progress. I am at the top of the mountain.. I am just trying to coast down.

Mountain 28- Taking on new challenges. Prior to my lifestyle change I would never have even entertained the idea of walking or exercising. These new challenges have changed me.. and this mountain had its tail kicked.

Mountain 29- When angry or sad, working out not eating. This one is huge . I am an emotional eater.. things get me going. I eat.. now I work out. I like this much better!!

Mountain 30- Beans,veggies and other things previously deemed yucky are not yucky! I even made the black bean brownies (odd but good)

10 more mountains conquered but tomorrow we will start on the ones that I need to get to.. wish me luck...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Mountains 11-20

As I sit here tonight, I have the song "Ain't no mountain high enough" running through my head. This has been a wild week, and a wild ride. Am I insane? No, I promise I am not.. cuckoo for cocoa puffs though.. you betcha. Let's get back to my mountains shall we?

Mountain 11: Learning to not live to eat, but instead to eat to live. I eat but I eat in small amounts and it works for me. I do what I need to do. Mountain is now dust!

Mountain 12: Confront my fears... I wore a mini skirt last week. My first since high school. yes, I did ask everyone who walked by if my hind parts were hanging out but I WORE it!! Mountain is down one more level.

Mountain 13: Getting rid of the clothes that I outgrew. I got rid of (so far 5 trashbags and 3 boxes) Progress? You betcha. will I be wearing a barrel soon? You betcha.

Mountain 14: Walk more than 1 mile. DONE you hear me.. DONE! Mountain obliterated... damn I am good.

Mountain 15: Restraint on a holiday. I didn't eat everything that wasn't nailed down on Easter. I still have half my chocolate bunny left. Up and over I go!

Mountain 16: Find a release for my energy.... oh yeah I have.. :oP I now walk, workout, exercise. play with my kids. I MOVE and I love it! That Mountain is dusted

Mountain 17: Lose my "Why are they laughing at me" paranoia. I have always felt the world is giggling at me. Now, I hold my head up and I walk. I can do it. Yes Sir I can! mountain is hit!

Mountain 18: Buy something cute and have the balls to wear it. Ahem this is my favorite and I so conquered it.

Mountain 19: Dance like nobodys watching, Sing like nobody can hear, and smile like I know a secret. Check check check. This ws one of my favorites...

Mountain 20: Post a before and a now pic. Sighs.. ok here it comes. .we will do this one together:

Before Thanksgiving Day 321 lbs:
Yesterday (at the Circus.. do you get the red nose now?) 246 lbs:
Ok I did it. I posted it. Mountain knocked down. Does anyone else see it.. am I crazy? You can see it right? If not. will you lie to me.. please.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Little Mountains to climb

I don't have one big mountain to climb. I have a set of about 60 little bitty mountains, and that is where I am at. I want to climb each mountain as I come to it. Here are my first 10:

Mountain 1: My black jeans-I just wanted them to fit. One month in THEY fit. And I am down the other side.

Mountain 2: Complete a 30 day workout, I did. And I went down the mountain again.

Mountain 3: Take a picture of myself, I have. I am still too chicken to share. What if you guys don't see it, and think I am nuts? Yep, thats my mind. But can I get a point for taking the picture. I just gotta go down the hill.

Mountain 4: Giving away all the 30/32s in my closet. I did it. Goodbye. Adios. Au Revoir. There you go down that mountain.

Mountain 5: Put on a pair of pants with no elastic in the waist.. done. No stretch, no elastic. And they fit.. WELL. Mountain.. kiss my heiney.

Mountain 6: Lose the inhabitions in the bedroom, I know. WTF?! you have six kids! I know I know. .but I kept thinking he doesnt find me attractive. I am slowly realizing to Chuck, I was always fine but now I am just getting better. :o)~ hubba hubba,.. mountain six.. oh yea baby.

Mountain 7: Keep track of my points for 30 days in a row, don't lie. Just do it. Check check check... I have kept going.. and its awesome. Down that mountain I go.

Mountain 8: post my real weight, I have done that. It holds me accountable. I am proud of myself. I have LONG ways to go but I am proud of it. My mountain ROCKS :o)~

Mountain 9: Try something new, I have done that. I have tried manythings and happily admit that for the most part of have liked everything. I have coonquered that mountain.

Mountain 10: Today, I have a shirt in my closet. It is the last shirt my dad bought me. My Dad died 10 years ago, and no matter how much weight I gained, I would NOT get rid of this eeyore shirt. No way no chance. Today, I am wearing my shirt. Today, my shirt fits and my dad is smiling down at the top of my mountain. Proud? You betcha. Mountain conquered.. you bet your ASS.

So, my mountains are falling 10 are gone, 50 to go. What will we do next? who knows. My 5K mountain is still out there, but I still want to do it. There are so many to climb, so many to get over. But so much confidence to do just that.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


This is not a lecture, this is not a lecture instead it is more of a self help pep talk. For me. As you guys all know, and if you don't why are you reading this? I started Weight watchers in January at a whopping 321 lbs. I am now at 246 lbs and still a WAY WAY WAY WAY from being fit. I should be ashamed of myself for even posting that number on here, but to me at this point that is progress. And progress is something that a) I am incredibly proud of and b) people around me are proud of.

So, as I sit here still fat, I can finally admit that I got to that point that I needed a wake up call. The fact is I am not getting any younger, if anything each day I wake up and take a breath I am that much older then the day before. So, why now am I thinking of mortality? Yesterday, I found out a classmate of mine died of a massive heart attack. While we were never "friendly" in school (and to be honest at times he was a little over the top for me--I was a bit of a nerd. I would be amazed if more then 40 people remembered me from my senior class seriously...) I was not a jock, I did do flag corps (which sort of cemented the dork title), I was friendly but scared to death, but I was me and really did not care if you loved me or spoke crap about me behind my back. My point for myself was that I was a good person, I wasn't one of those people who got thrills from hurting people and if anyone--even an enemy--needed something I was your girl.

I am off track-forgive me. Back to my classmate, at 39 years old this man is now gone due to a massive heart attack. I am sad that the dash on his tombstone for his life is so small, 39 years is just when life starts. I am sad that (from the unconfirmed stories I have heard) the last few years of his life have not been a picnic. I am sad that it took something like this to shake me to the core to realize that life IS short, and tomorrow is not promised. That 2010 is epic because in 2011 when I turn 40 I want to know life is JUST starting not ending. I have lived a life full of memories and love, I have lived a good life, but I have not had a complete life. Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

Rest in Peace Jeff 1970-2010, may Heaven shine a little brighter thanks to your smile.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Winners!! winners!!

How I love winners!! :o)~ Well, I love those of you who didn't win too, thank you for entering. .I was shocked to see 18 people enter. And without further adieu I give you my winners, those of you who have won, please send me your addresses to and your prize will be mailed by Wednesday of this week:

Thanks to, I am happy to report that number 3 and number 14 are my winners!!

They are:

ohhhfire said... i like the sour patch kids and i tweeted about this giveaway (@ohhhfire)


March 31, 2010 11:04 AM Megan: said... I love sour patch kids...really they are the best!

Thank you to both of you for entering, and thanks to everyone for entering!! I am so very excited to send these boxes out :o)~ I hope you guys will enjoy the goodies inside and come back and tell us if you did :o)~

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The good, the bad and the filling.

I constantly get asked what hungry girl recipes are my favorite, which ones I haven't liked or which ones are now my staples. I started to put this in a FB post but quite frankly it was just too many characters. (ok sue me. I talk. alot). Btw my blog title is um a fraud.. there is no bad in these books, or if there is I have not found it. I love it all. Filling? Oh thats all of them too!!

So without further adieu... here they are by book and page number

These are from this cookbook:

Eggs bene-chick page 26--delicious and filling
My big fat greek pita page 70- yum
mexitato page 86- yummmooo
hot diggity chili dog page 111
hg's depudged pigs in a blanket p 142 -a classic that is hungry girled.. win win
rockin lean bean casserole page 152.. I heard angels.. just sayin'
dreamy chocolate peanut butter fudge page 171- delish!!
snazzy blueberry scones--page 210 I made them with mini chocolate chips.. yumo!
cookie-irifc ice cream freeze page 239--heaven
These are from this cookbook:

gooey cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing page 36--holy cow batman.
hakuna fritatta page 50-We bonded over lent..
snazzy spanish omelette page 60-this is just fabulous
sassy southwestern eggrolls page 94--this is what brought me and HG together
mexican bean and cheese dip page 126- fab
nacho-average tortilla chips-page 129 ironically I made these today.. yummy
ez tomato basil chicken-page138- we love this one!
lean bbean and cheese enchiladas page 168
turkey reuben quesadilla-page170 we put this on sandwich thins but so good!
joe cool java freeze page 188 just like Starbucks I swear
pepperminit chocolate chip freeze page 195- holy cow
pina colada smoothie-page 202 this is just amazingly yummy
red velvet insanity cupcakes page 209--the kids didnt realize they were good for them
chocolate marshmallow madness cupcakes page 211- see above message
chewy smores snack mix page 251 yummmmmmmmmm and it lasts
gimme gimme smores sandwich page 260 love it
Vanilla thrilla coffee float-page 263 delish
And this is the most recent one:

This is the newest book, now we have not made LOTS of stuff but we do have a pretty decent little group of stuff so here we go:

Shrimp and grits for hungry chicks page 44- so amazingly good
planet hungry wood sweet and capn crunchy chicken page 54-this may or may not be good but I am sure we will love it. we are making it tonight
chicken enchilada casserole-page 66 my pickiest eater had two bowls
egg mug florentine-page 72 this is our secret. I didnt tell Chuck I made this. shh
creamed corn cheese bites page 102- sooo good!
slammin slaw-page 114- we love coleslaw. we LOVE LOVe LOVE this
queen of the castle sliders page 134- soo good and filling!!
easy oven baked smores stuffed bananas page 166-I didnt expect to love this. but i did
corndog millionaire muffins page 250 oh my
holy moly cannoli cones page 258 if you only listen to me one time. .let it be now
overstuffed peanut butter n banana french toast page 288- did you just choirs of angels. oh I did.. believe me. I did.

And there we have it... there will be more I am sure in the next few days/weeks. I love these books and I love her recipes.. if you google them most of them do pop up. If you have the books there are the page numbers :o)~ Enjoy!!

Friday, April 9, 2010

The Twilight zone of dieting.

Picture if you will, a woman starting off at 321 lbs... she can not squeeze herself into her size 30/32's anymore, she can not walk up six steps into her house without being out of breath and she is cutting her life to ribbons just by continuing bad habits. Enter Weight Watchers, suddenly the woman realizes that she can do it! She can lose the weight and she can (incredibly) walk up those steps. She loses sizes first the 30's leave, then the 28's, then the 26's and now most of the 24's are gone. That's right you have entered the Twilight zone of dieting.

Ok, that may sound dramatic, but as I weigh myself and I see 73 lbs gone, all I can think of is "This is not happening." Forget the fact that I can't wear clothes I have worn for years. Forget the fact that I no longer am found at 3 AM opening a fresh Dr Pepper to get a sip of something to drink. I still wonder how long this will last. Things have changed but I still have that 321 person standing to my left, trying despeartely to get my attention. She REALLY wants the Dr Pepper and the Big Macs but the side of me that knows that is reckless and insane and really not worth the points won't do it.

I know there will be a plateau. I know that I will hit a coasting point, but right now I am enjoying the ride. I am enjoying that I have bought two SUPER cute skirts to wear and one is a size I have not worn in 14 years! It is a size 22, although I am constantly asking my poor kids if it looks alright. I have determination that can not be matched, but yet I still have this fear that I am gonna fail.

I am looking at 5K's and even a half marathon, my plan is to walk. At some point I will run them but right now walking is where I need to be. I need to not put the horse before the cart and just do it. I know I can. I have the confidence that is just unfathomable, I know that I have the worlds greatest support system.

Just if this is the Twlight Zone, can we not let Rod Sterling show up yet.. I am kind of enjoying this ride.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

My how things change.

Last year as my kids were home on spring break, I remember sleeping til 11 AM every day and getting up to sit on the couch. We would feed the kids whatever was in the cabinet and I would eat right along with them. Now, we are here, and now i am thinking of my lunch and what I eat. I have made some new discoveries on this journey of mine and the difference in points as well as the diffrence in smart decisions have taken over my life.

Gone are the days of shoveling the contents of the kids baskets in my mouth, only to blame the dog or anyone but myself. I have this shocking self control, one that I did not think was inside of me...boy was I wrong! 100 calorie snacks fill my cabinets, I bought SIX boxes of girl scout cookies in February--1 BOX has been openned the others are still there! Ae you kidding me?!!?

I will not bore you with what I have eaten but I will tell you what I am making tons of changes all of which have been beneficial to me and my life.. ok JUST one:

Jif Peanut butter 190 calories, 16 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber. Then I found Better N Peanut butter 100 calories, 2 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber. OMG! that is 2 points as opposed to 5 points! WHOA!! and the taste is yummy and tastes exactly the same!! So good!! Last year I would have turned my nose up at it.. now i am glad I didn't. Yep, times sure are a changing!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Spring break and snacking.

Today, ok technically Friday at 2:30 PM, spring break began. With spring breaks comes me rushing to the store to buy what I call "quick" lunches. Ya know the ones I am talking about: Corn dogs, hot pockets, those sort of diet killers. Yep, I bought them. I also bought lunch meat, sandwich thins, and many other things to keep me on the right track. I managed to go through the entire day with eating only ONE Reeses Peanut butter egg. Last year I ate a myself.

Normally, the goal of spring break is to sit in the house and eat yourself stupid. We are having days in the 80's and that is NOT going to happen this year. I am taking the whole gaggle of clowns out of the house to avoid that temptation. Temptation is after all, the root of all evil. I know for me, I can see where things have changed. I am no longer fighting off the desire to eat an entire can of forsting in one sitting. I just don't want it.

I told myself yesterday I was not going to count points, by the end of the day.. I had counted points and I had come out on top. I won. I survived my first holiday on a diet and it was easy. I think spring break will be the same thing, tonight I am making a HG enchilada casserole for dinner. Those who don't (or won't) eat that are going to have are having hamburger helper. It does not bother me to make an additional meal because leftovers become lunch. Not such a bad deal, ya know?

I am going to make up a bunch of the Hungry girl snack mix suggestions and I will store them for me and or the kids. If they want them than sure why not? If not they will be here for me. I am determined to survive spring break... one way or the other.. If I can't keep my sanity I can at least keep my diet in check :o)~

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Picture this...

Easter.. in the house of a dieter. Easter ya know the holiday that definitely is ABOUT the fact that Christ is risen, but also has underlying tones such as Reeses peanut butter oh my God in heaven eggs. holy spumoni batman!! You have to understand me.. I can sit down and eat these in a one sitting.. NO, not one.. a BAG of them. I love them. I love them sometimes more than my kids. (they are always sweet the kids well er um.. yea you get me..)

So I wake up this morning to have a chocolate bunny thrust at my nose "Eat Mommy" from the 2 year old. No thank you baby was the reply... and she left dejected. Was it possible that I just turned down chocolate? Was it possible that I turned HER down with said chocolate" Yep, sure is.

Fast Forward-there is chocolate all over the house, there is chocolate all over the faces, there is chocolate and jelly beans and malted eggs and so many more things. Strong? I am trying.. weak.. you betcha.

We are getting ready to eat lunch and head to the beach, mostly because if we don't eat something soon, I am going to make out with the basket of Easter goodies.. Go ahead think I am kidding. I am so not. Lunch is WW pork tenderloin, Crash hot potatoes and (TOTALLY revamped) broccoli casserole. I can do this. Its not gonna be easy.. but I can.

I already told Chuck I am not counting points today. I then leand over to him and whispered 'four' as in that is how many I have used. There is no use, I am going to count points. Tonight I am making a REAL cake....with REAL frosting. am I insane nope I am willing to go ahead and have my cake, and I am gonna eat it too.
Happy Easter everyone. :o)~

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Who wears short shorts??

Ok you have all heard the commercial years ago for Nair "Who wears short shorts... we wear short shorts!" No no, I am not there yet but last week I bought both a pair of jean shorts and a jean skirt. Last summer I wore a size 4X in shorts this week I bought a size 22/24 in JEAN shorts. YA know where they have no elastic give and a button and zipper! It may not seem like much but you have to consider where I have come from.

I have decided that while I thought this was going to be so hard and so challenging it really isn't. One reason I have failed so many times is becuase I can not come up with creative meal ideas. I swear to you, I live in the kitchen now. I have eaten more veggies in the past three months then I have most of my life and I LOVE them.

Do I still envy the girls who can eat anything and still be a size 0.. YES! but only because that is NOT normal or fair! let's face it I may never be a size 0, but I would be happy in my own skin if I got out of the 20s and into the teens. I can see it happening, and thats pretty exciting. So forgive me if you will but I am pretty excited to sing "who wears shorts?" "I wear shorts!!" :o)~

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The movies.

Ok we all know that bucket of greasy goodness we can get at the movies... we all know because we have all bought it. And some of us (no names mentioned *cough* me) has been known to eat most of the bucket in one sitting. And than one day while reading the hungry girl book, I found out what is inside that bucket of popcorn.

A large bucket is 1500 calories and 130 grams of fat! OMG. The thought of that and how many times I ate that.. are omg. I am dying here.. seriously! To add to that I had a LARGE Dr Pepper (cause they sell you on that "its only a .25 more!" WOOHOO a special. SIGN me up!) yep sign me up for a 500 calorie soda. Ever sit down and eat one of those bags of Reese pieces? Knowing full and well it was movie theater size, if you were me you just killed it.. hello 1200 calories and 60 grams of fat. OMG that is 3200 calories, 190 grams of fat in ONE movie outing.. and we thought the movie prices were killing us!

So, the thing is this...Mel and I are having a movie night. (Mel btw is my bestie, she's a silent follower) So, what does one do? Obviously those options are well.. let's be honest ok? They suck. Big time. So what does one who is trying not to eat their weight in calories? She goes to the cabinet and takes ideas from the Hungry girl, tonight carried in my little purse are the following items:

tootsie pops--1 point I bring one orange and one brown.
Pop secret kettle corn--1 point for the bag
Water--FREE--but i buy it at the theater.

Total for snacks MAX 2 points and the diet survives. Cha ching.. Now let's hope the movie is good.. hmmm. :o)~

I heart the Hungry Girl

First off to the ladies who won the books last week, they are being mailed today :o)~ We are a two car family again.. life is good!! :o)~

So, yesterday I went and bought the Hungry Girls new cookbook, because I am addicted. I am addicted and need a 12 step program. She simply rocks, she has recipes in there that are just amazing! So far we have tried three (yea I know I said I bought it yestetrday.. I did lol) Last night with dinner we had creamed corn cheese bites, on WW they are 1 point each and yummy!! (46 calories, 2 g fat, and .05 fiber) I was impressed and that is now a keeper in our already dog eared book. We had them with the Ham mom sent over and a Swiss and tomato mac and cheese (thats not WW that is all my grandma! but we were able to make it WW friendly).

So then we decided that it would be best to make a good dessert. Good meal, good dessert.. leftover points = easy oven-baked s'mores -stuffed bananas. Did you just hear the choirs of angels sing? Oh they did my friends, they sang loud and proud. This was just an amazing little sweet and not all that bad for you. (it packs a 152 calories, 2.5 grams of fat, and 3g of fiber)

Ok so then this morning.. I want something different Chobani yogurt while delicious needed something.. I was not sure what but I knew where to look...Insert Overstuffed peanut butter 'n banana french toast. now this packs you full of calories (but i had only had 12 ounces of water so figured well why not? (327 calories , 8.5 fat and 7.25 fiber) Yea I know! its high but holy moly!! it was so good! and I am FULL really full. I won't be eating my morning snack and that is ok because I had a fruit in the french toast! This does pack in a full 6 points but not so bad considering!! Yum-0!!

I am sure there will be many more recipes used out of this book this week, to include the grits and shrimp (now I am a this a southern thing? I had never heard of it but hey I am willing to try it!!) On a whole though from looking through the book, I think this will quickly be a new favorite. :o)~

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Holiday Anxiety

From the time I was little, I have always looked forward to holidays. It never really mattered which one, I just loved the holiday idea and the seasons. For instance Christmas for me was watching, everything come together-the gift buying, the gift giving,the gift receiving and the food. Thanksgiving.. well who are we kidding that was JUST the food. Easter was church, because its just a really neat service, baskets and candy candy and candy and dinner. Once again its all about food.

I could lie and tell you that I knew these holidays were more than that but honestly my mouth watered as I thought of each holiday approaching. See, my family are eaters and creators. We eat and eat and eat all our way through each Holiday. My mom is incapable of doing a holiday small so we start with appetizers and move all the way to MAJOR desserts. My level of anxiety over Easter (the first holiday since I started dieting) has been astronomical. I could eat my weight in reese peanut butter eggs-and I am here to tell you that I have not had ONE this year. I have not had a cadbury egg (last year over 3 days I ate a BJs size 3 lbs bag..alone.) I did break down and buy jelly belly jelly beans AFTER I found out that you can have 35 for 3 points. that may not sound like a lot if you are popping them in your mouth but it is if you ration them out for yourself. I have learned ways to make desserts that are tasty but good for me!

So now what are we going to do for dinner for Easter this year? well, due to some family events that sort of cramped our plans to go to my Moms, we are doing Easter at home (unless something changes in the next few days). My plan at this time is to still do Easter like Mom would. Only we will adjust and do a brunch after Mass, I plan to make (with DH help):

HG Cinnamon rolls
HG The Hakuna Fritata
a fruit salad (yummy yummy (Wiggles)
Mimosa's (2 points

For appetizers, I will lay out ham and pickle roll ups, a family tradition that i will tweak by using WW cream cheese! I also will do the HG stuffed Clams :o)~ And that is the apps. Now if the kids object to those we will throw in mini grilled cheese for them with a side of chips. Tada. Goodness knows they will be eating junkfood out the wazzooo all day Easter :o)~ but thats ok! We all did it as kids right?
Dinner I have had to put thought into, but I managed to come up with a decent meal I think:
Easter Pork Tenderloin from WW (4 points for a cup!)
The Pioneer Womans crash hot potatoes
Broc Casserole tweaked to be diet friendlier
Easter Rolls
while I may not eat the rolls or will eat just one that is what we will do for Easter dinner. It is a yummy filling meal! Perfect for the family as they all eat everything and it is also diet friendly for me. Which is important to me.
So than how do we handle dessert? Come on now. . you all have heard me sing the praises of the Hungry girl. I am sure there will be something in those cookbooks that I pull out to make for dessert. If nothing else it may be something as simple as making regular cupcakes for the kids (I don't use eggs or oil for the kids I use only seltzer or diet soda) and I will do a 100 calorie snack with a HG milk shake :o)~
I can survive the holidays I just have to be determined to do so. :o)~ And well to quote George Lopez "I got this" :o)~

Monday, March 29, 2010

Anxiety, cheating and the desire to be thin

Today's blog is about the things that I have been fighting, it will hardly make sense but for me I had to get it out. I had to be held accountable, and this is the way I do it. I apologize if I ramble more than a teenager who is head over heels in love with someone.

I have been trying to figure out why this year is so much different than all the others. For years I have fought my way through the dieting downfall. Every year for so many years I said "THIS is my year!" How come this year when I said it was it different? Is it because the migraines from high blood pressure were just too much? Or is it that I was so ashamed to look myself in my mirror that is what did it?

I know this will sound bad, but as July approached this year, so did my 20 year high school reunion. As much as I personally wanted to go, I skipped it because of how big I was. I did not want to be the butt (no pun intended) of peoples jokes, and although we can all say "well, we are adults now we have risen above that" I can tell you honestly that I do not think everyone has outgrown childish behaviors from high school. And honestly with the cost being so high, I did have every reason to justify not going (six a senior who I swear we have had to pay out the nose for this year) So that was my outward reason, but inside I also knew it was the fear of the unknown.

Friday night, my husband and I went to Red Lobster. My plan was to cheat, to misbehave and to LIKE it. I failed..miserably. There was nothing on the menu that was worth the points for me to cheat. Instead I ate crab legs (4 points), 2 Lobster tails (2 points each), and Garlic Shrimp (5 points), and a potato (3 points) for a total of 16 points. I had well over 24 points for dinner and knew I had wiggle room (I have never used the extra 35 points WW gives you because I just have never had the desire to do it). So while yes, I did eat.. and WELL :o)~ I did not cheat. We even went somewhere good and healthy for dessert we went Skinny Dip yogurt bar. And it was wonderful and 2 points for dessert. We skipped out on Red Lobsters point laden desserts and went with something healthy.. lets face it I now suck at cheating, and I am pretty sure thats a good thing!

I know that the old joke is that every fat person has a skinny person fighting to get out.. We have all heard that phrase. But the truth is... in my opinion we all have that inner fat person who would rather eat their way happy because food is comfort. Whether we want to admit it or not. I know when I have a bad day I head straight to my buddies Ben and Jerry. No, its not the best choice and to be honest its actually worse than eating an entire bag of M&Ms in one sitting. Now, this past week my stress level was at the top of the summit. I ignored my desire to eat, and just behaved. It was the first time in my life that I did not find comfort in something bad for me. I wish I could explain why that meant so much to me, but the truth of the matter is even I do not know why its different this time. I wish I could say that I am a recovered foodaholic but the truth is, there is no such thing and not just because I made up the word but because I will always secretly desire to grab the bad for me food even though I know its a big mistake.

So there you have it, my confession. Its long, it hardly makes sense but someone out there has to get me right?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

the 1000 Calorie 100 calorie box giveaway

So, here is the thing. .I am a snacker. I am a snacker of epic proportions. The kids go to school, I am bored and I want to munch. Sighs. What do you do when that happens? How do you avoid a diet breakdown? For me, its the 100 calorie snacks. Here are some of my favorites:

100 calorie Oreo cakesters (omg they rock
Quaker quakes (cinnamon stresuel rocks)
100 calorie peanut butter and cheese crackers
100 calorie swedish fish
100 calorie sour patch kids
100 calorie hershey bars
100 calorie baked lays
100 calorie chocolate covered pretzels
100 calorie Kashi 7 grain crackers
100 calorie granola bars
100 calorie kettle corn from Pop secret
The Russell Stover WW candies

So that is my list.. however there are millions of others!! And btw that is not ALL my list there are more on there too but that is all I listed. So here is my giveaway:

To two people, I will send 1 box full of snacky goodness! All you have to do is enter, tell me which is your favorite snack, pass it on to other people, and come back here and tell me where you told people about it!! This is ending AFTER spring break which is April 10th!! :o)~ Enjoy everyone!

Numbered List

Friday, March 26, 2010

Winners WINNERS!!

Yesterday was one of those drama filled days that when I tell you I normally would have eaten two big macs on. Seriously. So did I cave? Nope! I didn't! I didn't eat anything that was out of the ordinary!! And I worked out to get through my rough day! I killed it in boxing and boy did I need it!! My poor kids were dying to know who I was beating up :o)~ So please forgive me!! Ok? Please? No, no don't get mad. .come back.. I still love you!! :o)~ I promise. .can we be friends still? ::please?:::: Okay.

so, I put all 15 of you into the Truly Random Generator and number 5 came up!! So Zink AKA Renee is the Winner of 1 of the Hungry Girls cookbook!! the other one is for Miss Lisa from Oh boy oh boy oh boy (a fun and wonderful blog!) She gets it for sending me a person who said "Lisa sent me!" :o)~ It was that easy!!

Thank you for entering, Ladies addresses please! Oh and stay tuned to this page where you will hear me say "a new fun giveaway will be announced later today!" And if you are a snackologist you are gonna want to enter this one!!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Diet Pie Chart

This morning, in my creativeness sweep, I made a pie chart for dieters. The problem is I have n clue how to get it off Excel and into blogger. Yep, I suck. So instead I put up this picture of pie. Just convince yourself its a diet version ok?

The purpose of this "pie" chart? Well, because I started thinking the other day about how when you are dieting your life sort of revovles around that diet...whether you like it or not! The thing is this: you have to know your numbers to make it work. You have to be in control of your pie! So here is my pie in a pieshell (haha I crack me up. Yea I don't.. that was bad. .forgive me ok? no don't click the X. there is a point I promise! ::whew that was close!:::thanks!)

Food-20% . That may sound like a lot but when you are dieting you have to commit yourself to knowing what you are putting in your mouth. You are what you eat. It took me a long time to realize that eating whether for emotional reasons, boredom, or anyother reason is wrong. You have to eat when hungry. Try and know your scale, 1-famished 2-hungry 3-a little hungry 4-content but want to snack 5-full . If you are on 1 or 2 eat. If you are on 3 or 4 chew a piece of gum and if you are on 5-do something constructive or drink some water. You don't need to eat!! (This was my issue big time!)

Water- 20%. Hydration is so important. 8 glasses of water a day is beautiful and I know people have the "but it doesn't taste as good as soda" . I have said it ALOT! I finally got to the point where I learned I like ICE cold water. I always have one in the freezer and as I am half done I pull it out and sit it on the counter. I drink 8-11 glasses of water a day, it can be done! and after awhile you realize its actually pretty darn good to feel hydrated all the time!!

Exercise-10%- At least 15 minutes a day do something. Some days the most exercise I do is walking Walmart or the grocery store, but I do it! I make sure to get it in. Other days I commit up to an hour to exercise. I have this energy thanks to dieting and exercise that is outstanding! I can do things I have not done in years!! All because my body is giving me two thumbs up of approval. Exercise may be 10% but its a BIG 10%!!!

Support-50% - I can NOT stress this enough. If you do not have a good support system you will be in trouble. BIG trouble! I have the most amazing support system in place, between my family and friends I know I made the right choice to change my life. I know that even if I have setbacks, I will get back on the horse and ride again. If you feel you want to do this and have no support, let me know! I will be glad to be your support system. :o)~
So that is my pie chart... Am I wrong? maybe. But for me that is how my life is laid out now. I conciously think of what I am eating. I think of what I am drinking. I think that I know I need to exercise and I am thankful that I have support :o)~

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Weight Watchers and how it works.

Ok, so I have been asked to explain Weight watchers, please keep in mind that I am still basically a novice at this but I think I can explain it. If nothing else you will see what has been working for me and for Chucky (who is 10 lbs from his goal weight.. say it with me girls.. ASS!... bitter? who me?)

So, this is going to be done in steps:

1) Step 1--Establish your points.. no don't just guess what your points are.. Weight Watchers has a scientific little quiz to help you figure out how many points you are allowed each day. they use a few factors (IE your weight, are you male or female, what is your activity level, are you nursing, etc) While Weight Watchers does not approve of people posting the quiz if you want to find out what your points are, shoot me an email or comment and I will help ya :o)~.

2) Step 2--start out by knowing your food. you are what you eat after all right? (Oh God that means before January I was twinkies and Dr Pepper. Great. NOW I am depressed!.. no wait! now I am healthy stuff.. whew I am better!!) ok the first thing to do is become friends with your food.. each food has a calorie, fat and fiber content. Calories you want to keep at a decent level.. fat you want low and fiber you want high. (PS also have a online calorie calculator too.. same email or comment ok?) Fiber makes you poop. pooping makes you lose weight.. :o)~ ok sorry had to put that out there.. gross I know.. but hey I am a mom of six my manners are long gone

3) Step 3- Plan your meals! trust me! eating on the fly usually adds weight to you.. and its ugly. .become friends with the Hungry girl,, and the Weight Watchers website.. they rock for giving you recipes.

So what do I eat? And how many points do I get. Right now I am at 32 points and here is what I eat daily (changed up at times!)

1 Thomas Bagel thin (1 point)
1 WW cream cheese tub (1 point) (its 2 oz of cream cheese
1 cup of coffee (1 point)
banana or peaches (1 point)

Total ---4 points


1 Sandwich thin <---these are DIVINE! (1 point)
2 oz of hillshire farm lunch meat (2 points--I am a meaty girl.. deal with it!)
1 slice of cheese (1 point) <--tons of cheese are only 70 calories sometimes i use a laughing cow cheese wedge yum!)
1 dollop of honey mustard, mayo whatever I am feeling (1 point)
33 Brown rice chips (2 points!!!!!! for 33!!!!)

Total-- 7 points
Afternoon snack:

1 fruit smoothie (2 points)
1 100 calorie snack (1 or 2 points depending)

total--4 points (thats be real most are 2 ok?)


Chicken or meat of choice (4-6 points depending on what we make)
Veggie (spinach, corn, beans,etc) (0-2 points depending)
Side dish (this can be potatoes, or rice) (3-4 points)
glass of wine on THOSE das (2 points)

Total--12 points (yes that is alot but its our big family meal and normally more like 12)


a Hungry girl milk shake, or a cupcake or sometimes just a 100 calorie oreos (MAX 3points)

Total- 3 points

Total for the day 30 points Now my hubby will tell you I hardly eat ALL of that. Normally I am around 26 points at dinner time.. but I wanted to be realistic for this case scenario. I also walk or exercise daily so that helps too. oh and water water water.. I drink 80-90 ounces of water a day!

The thing about Weight Watchers is this, if you look at it like its a diet you will fail. Once you realize you are changing your life then and only then will it work. If you have any questions and i can help, let me know. I would love to have another WW friend, most people have sort of bailed on me.

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Annoying dieter.

You know that person.. you know that one who is dieting and is successful so wants to share their joy with everyone. I realized last night, OMG that is me. I talk about Weight Watchers, Hungry girl, Kashi (btw Kashi.. owe you a BIG apology.. really thought your food was gonna taste like tree bark and i am in LOVE!), and definitely Wii EA Sports Active.

But here is the thing, I can't help it. I have been the butt of jokes for a long time... some from my family, some from friends, and some from strangers. A friend of mine (who has been so amazing through this, and probably does not even realize how much I appreciate it--Crazed Mama I am talking about you!) posted on her blog this week here that she wants to be happy with her weight. The truth of the matter is, I have never been happy with my weight. I have always been comfortable in my own skin on the outside, I used to tell everyone I am vertically challenged and horizontally blessed" (short and fat)

Now I am on this Weight Watchers thing, and I can see that at some point I will hit my goal weight. (I am aiming for 160-175) I enjoy working out, I am enjoying that I can wake up in the morning and get out of bed without gasping for air! I can walk outside with the kids.. I walked from the car to the beach this weekend without losing my breath! I feel a difference in me. I said 2010 was going to be different and I have stuck to that.. and (TMI warning WARNING WARNING.. ok you have been warned) even my marriage has been "helped" if you will. (hey I warned you!!)

So yes I am that annoying dieter, and I do apologize but please know that if you started this at the weight I started this, and have watched the pounds leave you would be excited to. So, can we still be friends?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Hello Spring!!

So, as I wake up this morning and I hear the birds outside (and may I say can we tell them to please quiet down until at least 9:30 on a Saturday? I was leaving at 6:30 (Chuck has drill) and they were already starting!!) but than it hit me. .ITS SPRING!:
and in my world that means we are heading to the:

And that we are going to sit back and enjoy the sun and have fun!! So, than it hits this guy:
Last year, we would sit on the beach and eat bad for me food and drink soda. Yep, the life of the fat unhealthy beacher. That was me. We had people who sat and pointed, and I laughed it off or ok I ignored it. They were laughing at me. Probably wondering if they were going to have to push me back in. Back then it was easy to ignore and laugh. Back then I didn't care. Now, as I sit here at a weight I have not seen in a LONG time, i am not afraid to go to the beach. I am ready for it. No, I will not be walking around wearing this:
But I am ready for the spring! I am ready to WALK the beach and not just plop.. to play in the sand!! Yes, welcome back spring! I have missed you!! :o)~

Friday, March 19, 2010

Letters of Intent


On my other blog (the old woman in the shoe has got NOTHING on me) and with special thanks to someone I met ( Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom ) via another blog again, and who is also not just funny but also really fun to read, posted about Letters of Intent over at Julie's blog located at Foursons and ever willing to join in on something fun and freeing.. here I am!

Dear Wii EA Sports Active Trainer-

I think we are going to have to do something about our relationship, sure you have helped me shrink sizes but on one squat you tell me I am not quite getting it and in the next breath you tell me how great I am doing. I realize that you have duel personalities and feel the need to play good cop bad cop with me but come on!! I think I am going to have to request that you work on your emotions soon please.

Thanks and still grateful!

The incredibly shrinking me


Dear Hungry Girl-

What can I say? everything you post is gold to me.. are you sure your real name isnt Midas?

Just curious

The not so hungry girl but HUGE fan


Dear Pushup bra-

Thanks. After 39 years and 6 babies, they sort of forget that we much prefer perky to depressing and sad. (For awhile there I truly believe they were frowning). Thanks for giving me a lift in all the right places.

Yours forever,

The ones with the lifted "spirit"


Dear child who likes to sit on my lap and eat bad for me foods:

Whatever sibling paid you off to see if I would cheat, is going to be in big trouble when you figure out how to tattle tale. Because you will tell.. oh yes.. you will. And if its not a sibling, please take your yummy foods that I won't touch to another location.. I hear Montana is nice this time of year.




Dear old clothes

I am sorry, we must part. Its not you, its me. Well, and its you. You no longer can hold yourself up on my tush and nobody really wants to see my monkey undies. I apologize as I know you were getting used to being the only ones in th closet but it will be ok.. I found you a nice new home and your owner truly appreciates them.

Thanks for everything-

Size 22/24 no longer 30/32


Dear Spring-

Thanks for the appearance the walk today was lovely!! What do you say we meet up at the beach tomorrow noonish?


The pasty white one who NEEDS the suns attention


Write a letter, you will feel better! I promise its freeing TRY IT!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St Patricks Day.

Okay.. where do I start? Today is a National holiday in my house. St Patrick's day. Yep, you heard me. I meant it. A national holiday! We have corned beef and cabbage, and we have a St Patricks day dessert. Then.. it happened.. :::insert Horror movie music here:::: I started a diet :::horror movie SCREAM!!! OH NO!::::::::::: Yes, that is right.

So now what? Corned beef is notriously bad for you. We all know it, hell some days I think that makes it have a redeeming quality (the fat kid in me is still alive in well, I just keep drowning her with water) So, tonight following Weight Watchers guidelines :::sob::: and cutting off the fat ::: oh God not the fat.. please not the fat:::: I will be still having Corned beef, cabbage and veggies for a whopping 7 points. (I normally save 10-14 for dinner/dessert because Dinner is the family meal).

Dessert will be green chocolate chip scones (3 WW points!!) and well, God knows a meal would not be complete with out the Hungry girl:

*Hungry-girl's shamrock shake (a healthier version of McDonald's SS shake):
Shamrock 'n' Roll Shake

PER SERVING (1 shake, entire recipe): 176 calories, 4g fat, 142mg sodium, 29.5g carbs, 3.5g fiber, 16g sugars, 7.5g protein -- POINTS® valu e 3*

1 tbsp. Coffee-mate Sugar Free French Vanilla powdered creamer
3/4 cup light vanilla soymilk
1/2 cup Breyers Smooth & Dreamy Creamy Vanilla fat-free ice cream
1/4 tsp. peppermint extract
2 drops green food coloring
1 no-calorie sweetener packet (like Splenda)
1 1/2 cups crushed ice (8 - 12 ice cubes' worth)

Directions:Combine Coffee-mate with 1 tbsp. hot water and stir to dissolve. Transfer mixture to a blender and add all other ingredients. Blend at high speed until mixed thoroughly. Pour into a glass and enjoy!

And this complete with choir of angels singing is what it looks like:

Happy St Patricks day!!! Enjoy!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Ok, I have worked my tail off for the past two months. I have lost weight and I am so proud of myself you have NO idea!! So today I see on the News that there is a woman in New Jersey named Donna Simpson who is trying to eat her way to 1000 pounds! Why? Why would you do this? Granted she is already 600 lbs but by doing this she is risking her life!

She says she is healthy yet she gets around on a motor scooter. Hate to break it to you honey if you are healthy you get around on the service of your two feet! She eats 12000 calories a day! Whoa! I eat max 1200-1400 a day. Yes, I have made errors in my life and believe me I have paid for them. I have suffered from Blood Pressure headaches that are horrendous and I would not wish them on my very worst enemy. Am I insane to think she has lost her mind? Here is the article and her logic, someone please tell me that I am not nuts:

600-lb. Woman Eating Her Way to Dubious Distinction

Updated: 14 hours 29 minutes ago
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Katie Drummond

Katie Drummond Contributor

AOL News
(March 15) -- A New Jersey mother of two has announced she'll stick to a calorie-laden, ultra-sedentary lifestyle in her effort to tip the scale as one of the world's heaviest women.

Donna Simpson, 42, already weighs 600 pounds. She hopes to add another 400 to her frame within two years.

To do it, she's eating 12,000 calories a day and trying to move as little as possible.
Donna Simpson, the world's fattest mother
Fame Pictures
Donna Simpson currently weighs 600 pounds. The New Jersey mother of two hopes to pack on another 400 pounds within two years by eating 12,000 calories a day so she can to become one of the world's heaviest women.

It's a costly endeavor: Simpson estimates that she spends $750 a week on groceries, which is financed by her Web site, where fans can watch streaming video of Simpson as she eats.

The idea was inspired by her boyfriend, Philippe, whom Simpson describes as "a real belly lover" and an enthusiastic supporter of her weight gain goal.

"I think he'd like it if I was bigger," Simpson told the U.K.'s Daily Mail. She met Philippe in a fat fetish chat room in 2006.

In 2007, Simpson became the fattest woman ever to give birth when she delivered daughter Jacqueline with the help of 30 doctors, nurses and medical assistants.

Despite the high-risk childbirth, a diagnosis of diabetes and her reliance on a motorized scooter for errands that require more than 20 feet of walking, Simpson describes herself as healthy -- and happy.

"I love eating, and people love watching me eat," she said. "It makes people happy, and I'm not harming anyone."

Simpson is rapidly progressing toward membership in a very small group. "The 900 Club," as dubbed by Dimensions magazine, consists of those who do, or did, exceed the 900-pound mark. And if the company she keeps is any indication, Simpson might not live long enough to become a 1,000-pound woman.

Even if Simpson attains her goal, she'll still be 600 pounds shy of Carol Yager, once the world's fattest woman, who died at 33 in 1994. Yager, who refused hospitalization because she didn't think her health problems were critical, succumbed to kidney failure and severe water retention.

It took 13 people to roll John Brower Minnoch over in bed. At 1,400 pounds in 1979, he claimed his health suffered only after a 500 calories a day diet left him sapped of energy. Minnoch died at 42 after lapsing from a medically supervised diet and regaining 200 pounds in a single week, which led to fatal edema.

Formerly the world's fattest woman, Rosalie Bradford also set a record, for most weight lost by a woman, after shedding more than 900 pounds with the help of diet guru Richard Simmons. Despite her success, Bradford died in 2006 of undisclosed health problems.

Ironically, it was the 2007 death of Renee Williams, a 29-year-old Texan, that prompted Simpson to refuse weight loss surgery. Williams, who weighed 850 pounds when she died, was desperate to lose weight from surgery but was considered "high risk" by most doctors. She suffered a heart attack during gastric bypass surgery.

Of all those whose weight puts them within Simpson's professed target on the scale, none have lived to enjoy old age.

Even the world's former fattest man, Manuel Uribe, has changed his tune. After years of refusing weight loss surgery, Uribe has lost more than 600 pounds on the Zone Diet and recently married his girlfriend on a beach in Mexico -- from bed.

Despite the massive weight loss, Uribe's health problems still prevent him from walking.

Simpson may be making headlines for her weight gain ambition, but she doesn't actually have much competition -- they've all died off. The last known woman to exceed 1,000 pounds was Renee Scarfa, who died of weight-related heart problems in 2008, at age 42.

Monday, March 15, 2010

who doesnt want a giggle?

Okay, I can be honest with you guys.. I am too tired to be creative today.. Daylight savings time is whopping my behind.. so instead I have decided that today I will post some cartoons I have found funny:And there you have it, some funnies. Today I completed the 30 day workout. I just don't even know what to say, I am thrilled beyond belief, proud beyond words, and relieved I did it. My personal history of keeping with a diet and exercise program.. well it stinks. But it has been said that I have turned a corner, and I believe it!! It feels so good to have that first notch under my belt. And ahem as I London Tipton it for a moment "YAY ME!!"

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I feel like a novice.

I used to consider myself a decent chef, mostly because my scavengers can put away food like it is a contest to see who can eat the fastest. So, when I started this diet, I had to relearn how to cook, my good friend butter had to leave. In his place is spray butter (ok for the record NOT the same thing but it works) I also use the I can't believe its not butter spread. I could eat Sour cream on everything, well sour cream left and plain greek yogurt came to say hello.

I have learned to weigh and measure, and count and be smart when I cook and when i eat. I learned that portion control is the main part of this whole ball of wax. I can eat most of what I used to i just can't keep eating like my house is a giant buffet line. I hav learned that water is really not evil, its actually pretty darn good. I used to avoid water and drink only sugary sodas and now all the carbonation and sugar bother my stomach.

I think this is the most interesting thing about being on Weight Watchers, you can still eat like a normal person but you have to watch what you eat and take your points. As long as you do that you are golden.. Of course you feel like you are relearning everything but once you get past that you will do just fine.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Spring cleaning or.....

Today we (ok me and a group of people who I think I am related to who complained and acted as if we threatened to turn off cable forever, shut off the Internet and move to a hill and turn into hermits) cleaned our entire house. No, I do not live in a castle but yes the house was in need THAT bad.

Happily I rose at 7 AM (yea I know its Saturday.. I said Happy. .do you believe me?) I immediately started to get to work on the closet (much to the chagrin of my husband who would have preferred to return to the house after dropping the oldest off at the school for an FBLA award ceremony.. but I have the best husband in the world. have I mentioned that? Daily I hear "I am so proud of you" I think I better keep him) Anyways.. so the closet led to clothes that had to be boxed and bagged up. I failed to mention we did the dressers last night.. but all in all I got rid 3 trashbags of clothes and 2 boxes!

If you see someone walking down the road in this:

Don't panic.. it's just me. :o)~ I kid I have lots of clothes I had to blow the dust off of. :o)~ But pretty nice to get rid of the big clothes!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

A dieter's prayer

I wish I could take credit for this, but I can't. Instead I will share that I did not find an author for it but I found the words to be painfully accurate for a dieter. So here it is:

A Dieter's Prayer
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain!
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleo margarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
Cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe -- size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
And of pasta a la Milanese
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.
So that is being printed to go on the fridge next to the scary before picture.. I am not brave enough to share this months.. People I see tell me "WOW what a difference.." I don't see it. I am nuts. I know but its ok cause now I gotta prayer :o)~

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Big Talk.

I sit in front of my closet each morning and stare at all the clothes that are 3X/4X and think of how I need to go ahead and box them up. Because well, I have outgrown them. Then as soon as I start, I have an anxiety attack. What if I do it and go back to my bad habits? What happens if this is not forever but instead for now? I have very low self confidence. The fact of the matter is, I put on a brave (fake) face a lot of the time.

In my forward appearnace I am this force to be reckoned with, in my heart and in my head I am an Ant that is waiting to be squished. I am waiting for someone to tell me, you can't do it. Just flat out "Good try, but you suck" Even shopping is hard, I can not get past the "I can't buy that won't fit" without even trying it on because I am convinced that I forever will be the Mama in the MooMoo.

Surely I am not alone in this. That feeling of being in the box, and needing a way out. I have never been a skinny mini, I will NEVER be a skinny mini. But I sure would be happy to remain the happy healthy me I am becoming. I have lost a darn good bit of weight but its not enough for me to find that image of me.

Maybe I am nuts, maybe I am cuckoo for cocoa puffs or maybe just maybe I am normal.. What are the odds?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Further Proof I have changed:

I read this article on Facebook, its a Press Release from EA Sports Active:

"Big news today – this fall, EA SPORTS Active 2.0 will be coming at ya on the Wii, PS3, iPhone and iPod touch. Not only will EA SPORTS Active be expanding to other platforms but the new fitness program will feature a wireless control system which will make it that much easier to get a great workout.

There will be leg and arm straps with motion sensors along with a heart rate monitor. The heart rate monitor will be able to capture intensity and will provide constant monitoring throughout your workout. Both the heart rate monitor and the motion sensor peripherals are such exciting innovations and it’s really going to change the way you workout at home.

There’s also going to be a new online destination where you will be able to track your workout data and share it with the rest of the community! It’s going to be a one-stop-shop for all your health and fitness needs. Those who will be using EA SPORTS Active 2.0 on the PS3 will also be able to download new workouts and exercises.

We all know that exercise is something that should be a regular part of your life and not something that you do once in a while. With EA SPORTS Active 2.0 we want to do more than challenge you to exercise for a few weeks. We want you to embark on a healthy new way of living. That’s why there will be a 9-week total body conditioning program. This new program will help you stay motivated and allow you to track your fitness goals.

Although EA SPORTS Active 2.0 is not coming out until the fall, we wanted to share this info with you as soon as we were able to. The future of EA SPORTS Active is really exciting!"

Have I mentioned that I adore Wii Active? It was the perfect way for me, to stop being the couch potato and get up and start moving. You can start out at low impact and work your way forward. I am on the medium workout, I have not tried a hard yet because I am a chicken. But I will say I finally found a way to workout that I actually doing! And if they are putting out a new one.. well its just on like Donkey Kong!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Gremlins and the reappearance of feet

See? with a topic like that... how can you NOT want to read my blog.. I AM SAYING! Ok so I have realized that I am a Gremlin. Yep, I sure am. No, we are not talking this cute little guy:

We are talking his brother he turns into at midnight. Only for me this is regarding food and after 9 PM. Recently I stopped snacking after 9 PM. Why? because my stomach would be so torn up from eating something I would be up all night. Walking the house and well ya know grumbling. Now, I go to bed at 11:30ish (ok some nights later) and I am asleep shortly after. My tummy is no longer doing flip flops and I no longer look like this guy:
There has to be something to this whole "Don't feed after 9 PM thing." Things that make you go hmmm...

Meanwhile in other areas of my world. On my first week of this diet I posted this blog the old woman in the shoe has got NOTHING on me: New Year, New Me, New 'tude and this picture on my other blog:
I am here today to post a new picture, I am now two months in and my toes have returned to the picture....seee:
I know I still have landslides to go, leaps and bounds even but my toes are back in the picture. Something i have not seen in a very long time. Does that count for something or am I a few sandwiches short of a picnic? I think for me I never thought it would happen like this. I guess I have turned the corner, I guess now I can finally say "See I am taking this seriously" and it feels awesome!! (We wont mention the capris I have had (still with tags) in my drawers for 2 years in size 22 that I am wearing today... but please allow me one WOOHOOO for that ok? :o)~ thanks!

In celebration of this I am now adding a second cookbook to the mix (Thats right both cookbooks) the rule is for the extra entry you have to spread the word, share the love, etc. Person who gets the most people to say "I found out about you from ____" wins the second book automatically. ITs just that easy.