Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I used to wake up and start eating, my choices were never healthy. I was a junkfood and soda aholic, in the worst sense of the word. I used to drink 90+ ounces of Dr Pepper a day, I never drank water except when I had to. Now, I have not had a Dr Pepper since January 3rd, not even a sip! Ok that is a lie. I have had Diet Dr Pepper, because well its 0 calories and I can. But otherwise I drink water and iced tea (No not omg sweet tea.. iced tea)
I think of every meal item, every menu and every thing that will go in or near my mouth each day. Why? because if I don't I will eat everything. Today for instance breakfast consisted of frosted mini wheats, 1/2 cup of 2% milk. Lunch was Potatoes (leftover from dinner last night... baked 1 cup), with 1 TBSP of hummus mixed in (5 points). I will be eating a cup of grapefruit (2 pts) in a few minutes but as of right now I am good. I am not starving... I am not wishing for more food. I am content. Previously, this would not have happened. Previously, I would have been convinced I was starving and eat more. Not necessarily out of hunger but out of boredom. I eat when I am bored, if I keep busy.. I don't eat. Emily and I went outside a bit ago and walked around the block, not a long walk but it is 75 degrees and gorgeous, she sat and I pushed my little diva (complete with Shades).
These changes have saved my life, I my live to see my grandchildren. In January, that was severely something I questioned. I have lost 81 lbs, and while I still have at LEAST another 80 to go, I believe I can do it . I no longer rationalize that food is my friend, I know we can be friends we just have to do it on my terms.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
In my world Weight Watchers has become Mother and I am pleading for steps forward. A typical day in our house:
"Mother, may I please eat hummus and melba toast for two points?"
"yes you may" Two steps forward.
"Can I have the Mr Goodbar that is taunting me in the cabinet"
"No you may not" One step backwards.
"Mother, may I please have 1/4 cup of chocolate chips for 1 point"
"Yes you may" Two steps forward.
"Can I skip the water and drink something else"
"Heavens no.. " one step backwards
"Mother may I workout on the Wii?"
"Yes you may!!" Two steps forward
May I curse at the trainer?
"No you may not" one step backward (Stupid discipline!)
And while I can make jokes about this, the fact of it is.. this time I have seen more steps forward. I hope that continues and I hope that I can continue to keep my feet going. I just have to remember to ask Mother if I may.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
So in the past few months, I have regained my life. I am not talking about my metephorical life, instead I am speaking of years on my life. When I started this I was on Blood pressure meds in December my blood pressure at one point was 191/105. I am only 38 years old. That is crazy in major ways! By losing this weight I have gained years back on my life. I ran up stairs last night. I have not run in so long I was shocked I did it.
Liberty because I have the ability to do things that were impossible before, I can catch up with my 2 year old. in December that was not a possibility, such a BIG difference in my world. I am liberated and able to do things that a few months ago were not possible. This matters to me!
Pursuit of happiness, obvious. Iam happier. Iam not struggling to move, my body no longer hurts. This is a difference and obviously a happy one. Thank Goodness we are heading to this point. Thank Goodness after so long, I can say that I smile and mean it :o)~
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
1) Money. Most of them require you pay an enterance fee, right now that is not possible for me to do. While I can justify that it is for a good cause, the bottom line is I don't have the extra to spare.
2) I am afraid of failing in front of thousands of people. What happens if I make the effort and I fail? What would that do for my esteem? I know I know it makes no sense. But no matter how much weight I lose I will always be that fat person trying to get out. The fact is, while I am brave on the exterior I am a chicken on the inside.
3) Time. See, Chuck has drill, the kids have activities.. and everytime one pops up.. ok who are we kidding this is another excuse.
So, I got to thinking (did you all see the smoke? I know you did) that maybe instead of walking one that is set, what is wrong with me walking one with some friends? Maybe try and get some friends together and walk a 5K, no rush no hurry just some friends supporting each other in a walk. It is truly not a matter of knowing whether or not I can do it, its finding the inspiration to get it done.
I will be 39 on June 7, and I have never done anything that will require something so physical from myself (I used to use the Asthma card in PE to get out of the 600, how is that for honest?). I am not against doing this, I just need some help. Is there anyone who wants to help me take this journey? Walk a 5K with me, and if and ONLY if someone wants to donate to a jar we will give the money to CHERUBS - The Association of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Research Awarenes. This is the horrible disease that took my son Matthew and maybe with some inspiration I can say part of me is doing this walk for him in what would have been his 20th year.
Once one, two or three people say they want to join me, we will pick a date and get going. So, anyone wanna help a girl out?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Mountain 21- Participate in a blog or group about weight loss, hope to help someone out. Ok I think thats a double check i have this and I have a FB group now. Go me.
Mountain 22- Make more meals at home then out of the house--huge check off. We eat nearly every meal at home and the best part is I know the cooks and I know what is going inside the meal. This is working up and down the mountain.
Mountain 23- Create a menu for meals at home, not just for me but for the family, stick to them. We have been doing this since January and it has worked for us. We found out a few things 1) I love my stove 2) the kids seem to prefer homemade over store bought.. who knew??
Mountain 24- Wear my bathing to the beach and not cringe thinking someone behind me is making whale noises. So mastered that mountain. Three times now!!
Mountain 25- help a friend start their weight loss journey. I have done this mountain, I have friends who ask "What are you doing? how are you doing it?" and I have asnwered. its been great too!!
Mountain 26- working out even when I didnt feel the desire. This is a huge mountain for me. moving and I are not friends, so getting up and just doing it (I feel like the nike symbol) is huge for me. Mountain is now a hill.
Mountain 27-Changing my attitude, this one is a work in progress. I am at the top of the mountain.. I am just trying to coast down.
Mountain 28- Taking on new challenges. Prior to my lifestyle change I would never have even entertained the idea of walking or exercising. These new challenges have changed me.. and this mountain had its tail kicked.
Mountain 29- When angry or sad, working out not eating. This one is huge . I am an emotional eater.. things get me going. I eat.. now I work out. I like this much better!!
Mountain 30- Beans,veggies and other things previously deemed yucky are not yucky! I even made the black bean brownies (odd but good)
10 more mountains conquered but tomorrow we will start on the ones that I need to get to.. wish me luck...
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So, as I sit here still fat, I can finally admit that I got to that point that I needed a wake up call. The fact is I am not getting any younger, if anything each day I wake up and take a breath I am that much older then the day before. So, why now am I thinking of mortality? Yesterday, I found out a classmate of mine died of a massive heart attack. While we were never "friendly" in school (and to be honest at times he was a little over the top for me--I was a bit of a nerd. I would be amazed if more then 40 people remembered me from my senior class seriously...) I was not a jock, I did do flag corps (which sort of cemented the dork title), I was friendly but scared to death, but I was me and really did not care if you loved me or spoke crap about me behind my back. My point for myself was that I was a good person, I wasn't one of those people who got thrills from hurting people and if anyone--even an enemy--needed something I was your girl.
I am off track-forgive me. Back to my classmate, at 39 years old this man is now gone due to a massive heart attack. I am sad that the dash on his tombstone for his life is so small, 39 years is just when life starts. I am sad that (from the unconfirmed stories I have heard) the last few years of his life have not been a picnic. I am sad that it took something like this to shake me to the core to realize that life IS short, and tomorrow is not promised. That 2010 is epic because in 2011 when I turn 40 I want to know life is JUST starting not ending. I have lived a life full of memories and love, I have lived a good life, but I have not had a complete life. Carpe Diem. Seize the day.
Rest in Peace Jeff 1970-2010, may Heaven shine a little brighter thanks to your smile.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Thanks to Random.org, I am happy to report that number 3 and number 14 are my winners!!
ohhhfire said... i like the sour patch kids and i tweeted about this giveaway (@ohhhfire)firstname.lastname@example.org
March 31, 2010 11:04 AM Megan: said... I love sour patch kids...really they are the best!
Thank you to both of you for entering, and thanks to everyone for entering!! I am so very excited to send these boxes out :o)~ I hope you guys will enjoy the goodies inside and come back and tell us if you did :o)~
Saturday, April 10, 2010
gooey cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing page 36--holy cow batman.
hakuna fritatta page 50-We bonded over lent..
snazzy spanish omelette page 60-this is just fabulous
sassy southwestern eggrolls page 94--this is what brought me and HG together
mexican bean and cheese dip page 126- fab
nacho-average tortilla chips-page 129 ironically I made these today.. yummy
ez tomato basil chicken-page138- we love this one!
lean bbean and cheese enchiladas page 168
turkey reuben quesadilla-page170 we put this on sandwich thins but so good!
joe cool java freeze page 188 just like Starbucks I swear
pepperminit chocolate chip freeze page 195- holy cow
pina colada smoothie-page 202 this is just amazingly yummy
red velvet insanity cupcakes page 209--the kids didnt realize they were good for them
chocolate marshmallow madness cupcakes page 211- see above message
chewy smores snack mix page 251 yummmmmmmmmm and it lasts
gimme gimme smores sandwich page 260 love it
Vanilla thrilla coffee float-page 263 delish
And this is the most recent one:
This is the newest book, now we have not made LOTS of stuff but we do have a pretty decent little group of stuff so here we go:
Shrimp and grits for hungry chicks page 44- so amazingly good
planet hungry wood sweet and capn crunchy chicken page 54-this may or may not be good but I am sure we will love it. we are making it tonight
chicken enchilada casserole-page 66 my pickiest eater had two bowls
egg mug florentine-page 72 this is our secret. I didnt tell Chuck I made this. shh
creamed corn cheese bites page 102- sooo good!
slammin slaw-page 114- we love coleslaw. we LOVE LOVe LOVE this
queen of the castle sliders page 134- soo good and filling!!
easy oven baked smores stuffed bananas page 166-I didnt expect to love this. but i did
corndog millionaire muffins page 250 oh my
holy moly cannoli cones page 258 if you only listen to me one time. .let it be now
overstuffed peanut butter n banana french toast page 288- did you just choirs of angels. oh I did.. believe me. I did.
And there we have it... there will be more I am sure in the next few days/weeks. I love these books and I love her recipes.. if you google them most of them do pop up. If you have the books there are the page numbers :o)~ Enjoy!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Ok, that may sound dramatic, but as I weigh myself and I see 73 lbs gone, all I can think of is "This is not happening." Forget the fact that I can't wear clothes I have worn for years. Forget the fact that I no longer am found at 3 AM opening a fresh Dr Pepper to get a sip of something to drink. I still wonder how long this will last. Things have changed but I still have that 321 person standing to my left, trying despeartely to get my attention. She REALLY wants the Dr Pepper and the Big Macs but the side of me that knows that is reckless and insane and really not worth the points won't do it.
I know there will be a plateau. I know that I will hit a coasting point, but right now I am enjoying the ride. I am enjoying that I have bought two SUPER cute skirts to wear and one is a size I have not worn in 14 years! It is a size 22, although I am constantly asking my poor kids if it looks alright. I have determination that can not be matched, but yet I still have this fear that I am gonna fail.
I am looking at 5K's and even a half marathon, my plan is to walk. At some point I will run them but right now walking is where I need to be. I need to not put the horse before the cart and just do it. I know I can. I have the confidence that is just unfathomable, I know that I have the worlds greatest support system.
Just if this is the Twlight Zone, can we not let Rod Sterling show up yet.. I am kind of enjoying this ride.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Gone are the days of shoveling the contents of the kids baskets in my mouth, only to blame the dog or anyone but myself. I have this shocking self control, one that I did not think was inside of me...boy was I wrong! 100 calorie snacks fill my cabinets, I bought SIX boxes of girl scout cookies in February--1 BOX has been openned the others are still there! Ae you kidding me?!!?
I will not bore you with what I have eaten but I will tell you what I am making tons of changes all of which have been beneficial to me and my life.. ok JUST one:
Jif Peanut butter 190 calories, 16 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber. Then I found Better N Peanut butter 100 calories, 2 grams of fat and 2 grams of fiber. OMG! that is 2 points as opposed to 5 points! WHOA!! and the taste is yummy and tastes exactly the same!! So good!! Last year I would have turned my nose up at it.. now i am glad I didn't. Yep, times sure are a changing!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Normally, the goal of spring break is to sit in the house and eat yourself stupid. We are having days in the 80's and that is NOT going to happen this year. I am taking the whole gaggle of clowns out of the house to avoid that temptation. Temptation is after all, the root of all evil. I know for me, I can see where things have changed. I am no longer fighting off the desire to eat an entire can of forsting in one sitting. I just don't want it.
I told myself yesterday I was not going to count points, by the end of the day.. I had counted points and I had come out on top. I won. I survived my first holiday on a diet and it was easy. I think spring break will be the same thing, tonight I am making a HG enchilada casserole for dinner. Those who don't (or won't) eat that are going to have are having hamburger helper. It does not bother me to make an additional meal because leftovers become lunch. Not such a bad deal, ya know?
I am going to make up a bunch of the Hungry girl snack mix suggestions and I will store them for me and or the kids. If they want them than sure why not? If not they will be here for me. I am determined to survive spring break... one way or the other.. If I can't keep my sanity I can at least keep my diet in check :o)~