Thursday, February 18, 2010

Inspiring to Inspire

I have never found myself to be someone that felt like I was the inspiring type. Yes, I am an overly happy person who sometimes makes people think that I am on something (just life baby.. just life) But recently I post my Facebook statuses and people come back and post replies wishing me well "Good luck I know you can do it!" I have had people tell me "I am inspiring them to make changes" Me? Little (ok not so little but we are working on it.. don't judge!) ole me? why? What have I done differently than every other person who has put out there that they are taking this journey..

And than it dawned on me.. that is it.

I am putting it out there. I have had seven babies over the past 20 years (20 this Sunday for my Matthew who is in Heaven <3 as a matter of fact). I have never been a toothpick, I have never even been a medium sized fire place log. Nope, I was always the bigger girl but it was never something that I let define me. It was part of my life for sure, I had made countless bad decisions and those decisions were effecting me in every single move I made. Now, I am making the right decisions, and THEY are defining me in every single move I make. Breakfast used to be whatever I grabbed and usually a good bit of it. Now I eat a yogurt and either a cup of coffee or tea. At lunchtime I was not against Emily and I eating a bowl of french fries smothered in bad stuff. Now I eat a sandwich on a sandwich thin, chips that are baked or low fat, some fruit or even a 100 calorie dessert. And I am just as full but not as sick as I was from the bad stuff. Dinners are now thought out and not thrown together on the fly. I cook, I bake, I eat! I am not suffering I LOVE it! I love that I exercise, I love that I can lunge! that I can do curl ups! (two months ago I didnt know what a curl up was!!

So, if I am inspiring you, I thank you for saying so.. but really I think I am inspiring me too . I love the numbers on the scale going down, but right now more than that I love that I am taking back my life and feeling like I made the winning homerun in Game 7 of the World Series.

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